I went to bed at 9pm, and now it’s 12pm. I’m sitting at my computer, WIDE awake, attempting to get my mind off my lack of sleepiness. This is all compounded by the fact that tomorrow I am doing my first solo supervisor shift at work – I’m a little nervous, and the worry of potentially sleeping through my alarm before my 7am start would usually keep me from sleeping well. There are a number of things weighing on my mind tonight… nothing significant, but little things that niggle at me in the night…
What does it mean to trust? I have realised that I have a gap in my trusting in God – I trust Him to lead me when everything is going well and I am responding and being led well… but I don’t have the same initial impulse towards faith when I know that internally, not everything for me is as strong as it should be. I don’t always trust that God will effectively and wisely lead me out of the holes that I so frequently manage to dig for myself and find myself in.
Romans 8:28-29 has been one of my favourite meditations lately. Most Christians can quote the fact that God works all things out for good – but not many who I have asked lately can go on to expand on the context. Paul writes in 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” In some ways, that brings a whole lot more clarity to the ‘working out for good’ that is promised in the verse prior – the good is that I would begin to look more like Jesus. I just have to translate that – that everything will work out for good in a way which develops the character of God within me – into my midnight niggles…
